Tuesday, 8 April 2014

The False Moon War: Chapter 1

to Title and Contents
to Prologue

Chapter 1.  The Great Plan

Deep in the past, something about this cold and unformed world caught the eye of the Old Ones.  Some unique feature of this planet ideally suited it to playing a role in their Great Plan.  Perhaps a concentration of rare and exotic minerals, perhaps its location in the multiverse, perhaps something else.

To further their enigmatic purpose, the Old Ones terraformed and engineered the nascent earth and the life forms upon her.  They created the races which now dominate the earth.  First among them were the Slann Mage Priests, followed by the other breeds of sentient lizardmen.  After these they formed the elves, dwarves and men.  The last of their creations were the ogres and halflings.  Other creatures, such as dragons and greenskins were present from the beginning, or found their own way to the earth.

Having populated the globe more or less to their satisfaction, the Old Ones constructed their most powerful work.

The Geomantic Web is a world spanning machine used to collect and redirect energy of all kinds.  Invisible tendrils blanketed the planet in a criss-cross pattern which resembling a great net.  The spans arched down to touch the earth at the sites of the mighty temple cities and other precise locations around the globe.



Why the cosmic visitors would create such a marvel, and why they needed access to such vast reserves of power remain mysteries to this day.

At the time of the Great Catastrophe, also known as the Coming of Chaos, the dimensional gates used by the Old Ones to travel the multiverse collapsed onto the earth's surface.  This caused a massive extrusion of the stuff of Chaos which condensed into a form of matter called warp material or warpstone.  Part of the mass span into the sky to form the Chaos Moon, Morrslieb.

As the inter-dimensional conflict at the gates enlarged, the Winds of Magic were whipped into a shrieking gale.  The spiritual entities of the Realm of Chaos became able to manifest in material form in our universe, nourished by the flood of magic.

With the onslaught of Chaos the Old Ones vanished from this dimension, taking the secrets of the Great Plan with them.


For more than a millennium, the forces of Lustria battled hopelessly against the billions of fiends who poured from the polar rifts.  One by one, nodes of the Geomantic Web were lost, until the lizardmen defended only those on the continent of Lustria.

With the Old Ones gone, and much knowledge and power perishing with the first generation of Slann Mage Priests, hope seemed lost.

However, even without the guidance of the Old Ones, the remaining Slann were able to employ the formidable power of the tattered web to battle the taint of Chaos.

Others also strived to stem the flow of daemons.  During the protracted battle for the Isle of the Dead of the High Eleven archipelago of Ulthuan, the greatest of the elvish wizards, Caledor Dragontamer sacrificed himself to enact the Great Ritual.  The vortex of the ritual whirled like an ethereal tornado and sucked up a great proportion of the winds of magic which howled from the collapsed polar gates.  The magical maelstrom funnelled the raging energies and dissipated them harmlessly into space.

Without sufficient quantities of raw magic to sustain their number, the billions of daemonic entities surrendered their nightmarish material forms and melted back into the Realm of Chaos.

The Great Cataclysm was over, or, at least postponed.

The lizardmen counted their losses and shored up their shaky defences.

The Mage Priests of Lustria scrutinized the wobbling vortex of the Great Ritual and saw that it was vulnerable to destabilization.  Without the elves knowledge, the Slann directed the Geomantic Web to exclusively capture magical energy and spiral it into the vortex.  The lion's share of the eight winds were collected in this way, and invisible strands of the Geomantic Web wrap around the whirling maelstrom to keep it from spinning itself apart.


The Old Ones had never seen fit to divulge the specifics of the Great Plan to the Slann.     The Mage Priests understood that the plan extended beyond this universe, they knew that this world had a crucial role to play, but the ultimate purpose of their life, the universe and everything remained obscure.

The Old Ones did leave a great many plaques of stone and precious metal, some of which ambiguously set out what must be accomplished to fulfil their cosmic purpose.  The meaning of many of the plaques is open to interpretation, and great convocations of telepathically linked Slann wrestle about finer points of nuance for decades at a time.  Many plaques may prove to be of limited significance, but which?


Thus the Slann have cleaved to the plaques of the Old Ones, prizing the knowledge locked within the glyphs above all else.  Much of their understanding of their masters' purpose has been distilled from centuries of contemplation of the surviving tablets.

Some plaques of prophecy are unequivocal in their warnings of dire future events, even if they fail to reveal the precise time that these events will unfold.

The prophetic Tlaxtlozoctlan plaque (moon~corruption plaque) recovered from the ruins of Huanabic brooked no debate about its meaning. 

The Chaos Moon, Morrslieb, which had been thrown into the sky by the convulsions of the Great Catastrophe, would fall to earth as its orbit decayed.  This event would be preceded by a critical weakening of the Great Ritual which had long spared the world from another massive incursion of the foul things of Chaos.

The astromancers of the temple city of Tlaxtlan had long since confirmed that the prophesied events were inevitable.  They could not, however, specify when this might occur due to the unpredictable nature of the great orb of warpstone.

Neither could the combined might of the Slann Mage Priests pre-empt or prevent the moon's fall.  It remained too distant for even their continent shaking power to reach.  They would need to content themselves with waiting and scheming.  Fortunately, the custodians of the Great Plan excel at both.


In the year 2418 (in the reckoning of the Lustria), Morrslieb waxed closer and closer to the earth, bringing with it tides of chaos and madness which peaked with each full moon. 

No Slann was surprised.  All were prepared.

As the cosmic portent loomed in the sky, Lord Tecciztec of Tlaxtlan, shivered on his floating throne.   Among the greatest of the living Slann, he had been meditating, as if carved from obsidian, for a generation of men.  Now he shook as if chilled to the bone.  His Temple Guardians, who had not themselves stirred for decades, shuffled uneasily and clutched their massive weapons tighter.

The guardians were not sensitive to the ebb and flow of the winds of magic, but even with their earthly sight they could perceive a shimmer surrounding their master which made him difficult to clearly discern.  It was as if he were not truly present in the material realm.

Inconceivable forces were being called into play.


The Lord's shivers slowly subsided. In the realm of pure logic and energy, Tecciztec drew the winds of magic about himself like a shawl against a chill draught.  One by one he closed off his senses until he, and every other Slann plunged into a deathlike trance.  Nothing of the physical world would be permitted distract them from the battle to come. 

Their minds were linked together in the greatest congress since the Great Catastrophe eight thousand years earlier.

Their defence of this world would have three elements.  Extra Geomantic power would be directed to supported the Great Ritual, which would otherwise falter under the tidal influence of Morrslieb.

Meanwhile, the united Slann would defend the psychic bulwarks at the polar gates for as long as they could.

The third element required one of their number to use the time their rearguard action provided to directly assail the Chaos Moon itself.

At a prearranged signal, the convocation of Slann pulled the strands of the Geomantic Web to themselves.  As they did so, the crackling energies which were barely contained within its threads streamed faster and faster.  The Slann reeled the web's strands tighter still until its arches and spans barely cleared the mountain tops.  Each Mage Priest himself became a node in the greatest device created by the Old Ones.

The Geomantic Web did what it was made to do: draw power.  As usual, the raging winds of magic blustering from the polar gates were gathered, but even natural earth power, the celestial power of the sun and stars and other sources of energy were being tapped in this most desperate of emergencies.  The sun in the sky dimmed and the air over Lustria became unnaturally chill as the very light of the sun and heat of the earth were drafted to join the cause of resisting chaos.

Around the globe, Vampire Lords shuddered in their crypts, Greenskin Shamen paused in their rituals and elvish wizards in their towers marveled as the winds of magic lulled and the lights in the sky faded.  All who could perceive the ebb and flow of magic knew in that instant that Lustria's sorcerous defenses were intact.  And very potent indeed.

But what of her Physical Defenses?

Monday, 7 April 2014

Novel 1: The False Moon War

A Semi Illustrated Novel by The Spawning of Bob

Copyright Ross Uhlmann 2014


Introduction:
On Pages 26 and 27 of the Warhammer Lizardmen Army Book (8th Edition) lie the "Chronicles of the Lizardmen"  This timeline contains this entry:

2418 The False Moon War
A major blow is struck in the Slann's ongoing war against the Chaos Moon.  The Slann Mage-Priest, Tecciztec of Tlaxtlan enacts a ritual aimed at pushing the false moon out of orbit.  Although failing to muster enough power to complete the task, the Chaos Moon is sufficiently shaken that chunks of it split off and fall across the world with devastating effect to those beneath.

Where The Citadel fears to give detail, the Spawning of Bob steps imprudently into the breach.....

Contents:
Introduction
Acknowledgements



Acknowledgements:

The community of www.lustria-online.com  for story ideas, inspiration and encouragement.  Notably Scalenex, Ironjaw, Rychek, Slanputin, Wallice, Quetzakroakl, T`hinker`er, n810, Baergren, and lbisson.  Thanks also Mahtis, Old Mossy and Skilful Dan for donating their names.

Son and Daughter of Bob for a captive test audience.

Sister of Bob for editorial help.

Wife of Bob for much grace and tolerance during a hard year.


The False Moon War: Prologue


Each of the infinite number of universes has its own unique set of laws, properties and energies which sets it apart from all others.  The warmth of gentle sunshine upon a child's face, the vigour of life and the tendency of objects to fall down, rather than up, are manifestations of some of the many mundane laws which bind this universe, making it "normal" to a native observer.

Other universes are governed by laws which seem paradoxical and bizarre to the non-native observer.  However, the inhabitants of such dimensions find these as commonplace as gravity and time.

In the space between the parallel planes is the Realm of Chaos.  Because this non-dimension is populated by entities made of energy, rather than matter, it obeys a set of different laws.

Only the god-like Old Ones had the ability and desire to travel from one universe to the next.  In pursuit of their enigmatic Great Plan, they created dimensional gates, where parallel planes were bridged by conduits through the Chaos Realm.

By means of these portals. the Old Ones brought into being another form of energy previously unknown in this universe:  Magic.

The friction between the incompatible realities creates a potential, much as amber rubbed with wool will produce tiny sparks of lightning.  At the dimensional gates, this potential is manifested as the Eight Winds of Magic.

In the time of the Old Ones, this potential was measured and controllable.  They taught their first servants, the amphibian Slann Mage Priests, to channel and control the winds to perform great works, which would have otherwise been impossible within the constraints of this universe’s laws.  In the eddies and vortices of the winds, other energies, such as Dark Magic, gradually accumulated like dust in the corner of a room.

Those with the ability to manipulate one or more of the Eight Winds and other magics are the great mages.  They are rightly to be feared and respected.  However, magic and wizardry only represent a bending of the natural rules of this universe. 

The universe's native laws cannot truly be broken.  An enchanted floating castle will eventually crash to earth.  In time, “eternal” beauty and youth bought with the blood of innocents will fade to reveal a face made hideous by decay. 

A magic user is wise to remember that the universe will inevitably correct any aberrations in its order.  Sometimes this will take aeons, but sometimes, particularly when the boundaries have been pushed too far, the correction will occur suddenly with a calamitous detonation.

Beyond natural laws and magical influence, a third set of laws exist.  These are truly universal.  That is to say, they hold sway in any time, any dimension, any universe.  These Metalaws cannot be measured or directly observed, but they are real, potent and they will endure until the last universe is snuffed out in cold infinity. 

The Metalaws have names, like Virtue and Evil, Good and Bad, Luck and Destiny.  Many others exist, but all follow this rule – they are paired, like the opposing sides of a coin, or  a bickering husband and wife bound together through eternity.  They are opposite, but cannot exist apart.

These pairings can merge and interact.  It is possible to know Good Luck or Evil Destiny.  Analysis of all possible combinations with the new science of mathematics reveals an interesting pattern.  The number six (and its derivative, three, and its multiples (2x6, 3x6 and so on)) governs all that is, and all that can be, in any part of the multiverse.

The Law of Six is the reason why mystic cubes made of bone, ivory or stone are revered by all races.  They are used to scry knowledge of the future and truths which cannot otherwise be known.

The King and Queen of the Metalaws are Balance and Bias.

King Balance dictates that Good Luck will find balance with Bad Destiny elsewhere in the multiverse.  For every lucky rabbit foot there will be a vengeful rabbit.  This is an immutable law. 

The Metalaws bow to King Balance's ruling. 

His queen, Bias, is  generally subservient to his edict.  However, on occasion, she will skew the distribution of the Metalaws across the multiverse and thus allow unusual and implausible happenstance.

In the case of the Spawning of Bob, the great Queen had pushed her snoring husband firmly out of bed.  At her behest, the coin of Luck and Destiny was spinning on its axis, and refused to fall either way.

This kind of thing is endlessly frustrating to soothsayers and statisticians alike.


to Chapter 1

Saturday, 29 March 2014

Spawning of Bob, Wisdom of the Cold Ones: Special Rules


This is the second of a series of guides to help novice Lizardmen players navigate the rules of "Warhammer Fantasy Battle".  

The above example shows the special rule "STUPIDITY".  Don't pretend this hasn't happened to you.

Read on for more helpful illustrated examples.

CUTE

ETHEREAL

EXTRA ATTACK

FEAR / TERROR


CONCERN

FLAMING ATTACKS

FLAMMABLE

IMPACT HITS


IMMUNE TO PSYCHIATRY

MISFIRE



STOMP / THUNDER STOMP

STUBBORN

STUPIDITY

DEJA VU

UNBREAKABLE

Spawning of Bob - Wisdom of the Old Ones - Weapon Special Rules





This is the first of a planned series of guides to help the novice Lizardmen player negotiate their way through the perilous maze which is the Warhammer rulebook.

Weapon Special Rules

First Rule is, of course, to take some weapons,



ensure they are in good repair,



and ensure you know how to use them effectively.




Some weapons have a purely defensive function,


while others can be selected to exploit weaknesses  in an opposing force.
























Many weapons are subject to restrictions of which units can use them,



which units should not be allowed to use them,



and of course which units would equip particular weapons purely as a matter of style or preference.  For example, the antipodean saurus warriors of Australustria eschew the use of the spear as a close combat weapon,


whilst the Australustrian skink skirmishers use their own subtle flavour to enhance the cuisine of “get them before they get you”.



Spawning of Bob hopes that this guide has been useful and informative.  Of course, the 8th Edition Warhammer Rulebook is the definitive reference on all things related to weapon rules.  

Remember, the BRB is authoritative and infallible.



Most of the time.

Thursday, 20 February 2014

Spawning of Bob - The Gods of Olympus

The magnificent Legions of Lustria must again sally forth, this time into the frozen wastes of the north.

It is easy to be intimidated by the prospect of contention with troops who are accustomed to the icy conditions.

Ice Dance - Nurgill and Deentch


However, the usual requirements of detailed planning and meticulous preparation hold just as true for this campaign as any other.

Training specificity is essential.  It may be hard to precisely emulate the challenges that will be faced in the Chaos Wastes.  Sometimes, improvisation with what you have available must suffice.

Bobsled

Downhill


Time should also be taken to acclimatize to the expected conditions.



In this, as for any campaign, choice of protective clothing and equipment can place your lineup in a position of advantage, or disadvantage.  Consider your options carefully.


Aerials

Of course, some of our champions will take to the challenges ahead as if they were spawned for them...

Figure Skating - Maunto flawlessly performs the compulsory "Double Axolotl"

Ski Jump - Oldladdin hits it out of the park!

... and often a delicate touch will separate the victors from the shamed.

Curling - Chameleon Skinks


It may be tempting to apply a magical 'buff' to pander to our squad's strengths, but other races have differing views about what constitutes 'fair' play.

Speed Skating


You mustn't forget that your opponents have their own niches and areas of strength.  Sometimes it is best just to leave them to their token victory.

The Skeleton - Usually dominated by Tomb Kings and Vampire Counts.
Lustria's only medal contender is Scalenex of Malodorex.

Biathlon - The runes of accuracy really make up for those stumpy little legs.


At times it is better to sacrifice a small unit of "chaff" to delay or redirect an overwhelmingly powerful opposition unit.

Ice Hockey


What will be the outcome of the contest to come?

Only the Old Ones know, but of course, the valiant Legions of Lustria will strive in the spirit of the true Olympians!